May 05, 2004

Carnival of Carnality > The word is squirt
by Liza Sabater

I've never been a fan of porn; finding most of it utterly fake and ugly to watch. Reading about the business of porn, though, has become a weekly treat due Carly's excellent:: PORNBLOGRAPHY - Daily Grind ::.

Carly's writing has the right balance of aplomb, when reporting about the outbreak and cheekiness when relaying conversations with performers on the set or describing what goes on during a shooting. You can tell the woman really cares about the people writes about.

The post that caught my eye was :: SQUIRT-O-RAMA (OR, "CREATIVE WAYS TO BYPASS THE MORATORIUM, PART ONE"). In it she describes Axel Braun's latest project, "Squirting 101". For those of you who have no idea who he is (since I don't watch porn, I had to google him), the man has his hands insured for two million dollars a piece . His gift? with He can make any woman gush with sensous delight using the methods of G-Spot stimulation he learned from his father, Lasse Braun. The man is an expert in the art of fingering and he wants to share his knowledge with the world with, get this : A reality/educational show.

The set-up is this: each girl has three contestants that attempt to make her spray them down. They either succeed or they dont. At the end of the trials the girls get interviewed on the boys performances, then the boys get interviewed about their experience. So its part educational and part improv comedy.

This is what reality TV should be all about. Cut the crap about fake marriages with midgets or snake eating exhibitionists. This idea is pure genius. Here's the prelude to the best part in the story :

As they finish setting up the scene, Axel asks Yellow Underpants how she orgasms.

I don't, she says.

This draws wails of terror from Lucy and Lena. How often do you masturbate? Lucy demands.

Yellow Underpants shakes her head. I gave up, she says.

How old are you? Axel asks.

Nineteen.

You've never had an orgasm?

No.

Axel shakes his head and looks at Claudio. Claudio, you're going to do this one.

Claudio doesn't look so sure, but he huddles in the corner getting instructions on what to do with his fingers once he gets up there from the man who has his hands insured by Lloyds of London for $2-mil a piece.

You have to go to Pornblography to read the rest of the story, but I assure you, you won't be disappointed. Carly is an amazing story-teller --and she is funny as hell. So much so that I am looking forward to the release of this video series. Heck, I'll even buy a new umbrella for the premiere.

See also:
The-Clitoris.com
Guardian Unlimited Books | Extracts | The story of Ohh!
Female Ejaculation
Nerve.com - G Lust and Special Sauce by Em & Lo
Articles About The G=Spot and Female Ejaculation

Freebie:
Does Mr. Braun's technique work?
The answer is ...

Yes.

Posted by Liza Sabater in Blogs, Health, Humor, Movies, Sex
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