March 17, 2005

My greatest contributions to the Irish
by Liza Sabater

I married an Irish boy from "Jeah-see" because I find melanin-impared men with red necks, pasty white shins, dubious relationships with alcohol, a penchant for Catholic-laced profanity and gluttural accents ... well ... sexy.

Ok, so he doesn't have an accent until we play cops and robbers or fireman, but the point is that Irish men are really, really exotic. Case in point? Collin Farrell, Liam Neeson, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Day-Lewis, all of U2; heck, even Alan Cummin is just slathered in a manly queerness that can only be the product of that ol' Irish charm.

Yes, I know, I've promised my loins to Viggo Mortensen, but if he were Irish, he'd be even sexier. Y'all know it's true.

So here is to the Irish.

And may they all storm as many crazy Puerto Ricans' beaches as their melanin-impared skins can withstand. As the wise old Irish man once said : "So you can bring to the world Irish men that can tan."

Hence my two greatest contributions to the Irish.

Keepin' it spic 'n mick, babe. Spic 'n Mick.

PS: For two godless mutts, their names are very Irish and very Catholic : One means "Little Swift one who is like God" and the other one is "God's Little Firey Sword". The names are Evan Michael and Aidan Gabriel (and you've got to say Gabriel in Spanish, not Heengleesh). Guess which name goes with which definition.

Posted by Liza Sabater in Ethnicity, Humor, Pop Culture
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