May 30, 2005

Oh Viggo, Viggo, Viggo : what the fug has gotten into you?
by Liza Sabater

Go Fug Yourself: Lord of the Fug




So you have a sick sense of humor.

So you disdain the whole movie star thing.

OK.

I can understand you're desire to give a wink and a nod to all those españoles that are just slap happy you're their Capitán Alatriste. But child, not even the gayest of my friends would be caught dead in an outfit like this.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK?

You still have first dibs on my loins, but mi amor, mi vida, mi cielo, if you want to be my papi chulo, don't you EVER dress like that EVER AGAIN.

Let me put it this way, Vigguito mio. If it is true what the internets say and you have a new wife, I will have to slap the bitch silly for letting you go out into the wide open dressed like that.

It's just not funny.

No woman in her right mind would let a sexy beast like you go all ice capades crazy at Cannes like this.

It's just not right.

Which proves, that once you meet me you're going to have to divorce the wench you've nuptialed. The woman is trying to kill you. At the hands of snarky fashionista bulls. Or angry toreadores who'll think you're making fun of them.

Seriously, if it's true you're married, I'm going to have to go all Tonya Harding on her.

Where's a good 2x4 when you need one?

[Thanks to Alizinha for the heads up]

Posted by Liza Sabater in Fashion, Hollywood, Humor, Sidelinks, Viggo Mortensen, W T F
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