June 15, 2005

One man's perspective on abortion at DailyKos
by Liza Sabater

You know how some men talk about being pregnant? Well, just another vet, talks about his abortion. I think the essay not only lends a refreshing perspective but offer quite a provocative one:

Daily Kos :: UPDATED: One man's perspective on abortion

I remember the day she told me she was pregnant. No, when we were pregnant, because it takes two people to make life. Unfortunately most men seem to forget that. I can still remember how I felt, thinking about all my friends that had been right where I was at that moment.

How many of them stayed by their woman? How many said "so what" and walked away?

We men seem to forget a lot of things when we get horny. Rarely does pregnancy come into mind, unless it's how to prevent one, and even that isn't as important as it should be at that moment. No, we are more concerned with how it will feel to have an orgasm. The creation of life part rarely is given any real concern.

But for a woman, every single time could be that time.

Now, I am going to highlight the next section because I believe this is the heart of the matter over abortion :

Why don't men think about this more? Because we are not the ones held responsible in the end. It is too easy for men to simply walk away. After all, she was just a warm body, a receptacle, and any woman would have done.

The sad reality is that this is a women's issue because men refuse to step up and take responsibility for their actions. She didn't get pregnant on her own, and she shouldn't have to deal with the ramifications alone.

My spin on this slightly different. I believe that US feminism has stripped men from their responsibility to the women they've impregnanted because, "Damn it! it's my body and I'll do whatever with it."

Well ... yes and no.

Everybody's reasons for preventing or stopping conception are very different. Mine is very simple : I could never have the child of someone I did not love. But that's me.

That means though, that I find it my responsibility to involve my partner in everything that has to do with my body. I mean, wouldn't you want to know what's up with your loved one's health? So why not have mean involved with your keeping track of your menses, selecting birth control, and even deciding what to do if there is an unwanted conception? It's not just my responsibility as a couple, it's our responsibility to our love. In sickness and in health.

So I don't just think that men run out of a woman's life because they're all bastards. Yes, some are; but most men? I honestly think that men are just not taught what to do in a situation like this.

Look, I found it appalling that in states, human reproduction nor sex education are not taught in Biology classes. I still can't to be honest. I mean, I spent 12 years of my life in Catholic school, in Puerto Rico (a fairly conservative country when it comes to faith). And where did we get our reprod class? In Biology class, but of course. Yeah, so sex ed was part of "ethics" so that the non-Catholic that did not the religion classes would still have to take it. But still, that Puerto Rico Catholic schools have a more open attitude about sex than public schools in the US is just ... depressing.
Read the whole thing --I don't know about the comments, though. They're up to 300+. But let me leave you with his final words:

I understand that this is an emotional issue for many people to discuss. But it is as much a part of reality as war and taxes. We shouldn’t have so many wars or pay so much taxes either, but at least we talk about those issues in public.

This is, as well, the important shit.
Hear, hear.

Posted by Liza Sabater in Abortion, Blogs, Body, Culture, Domesticity, Family, Feminism, Parenting, Reproductive Rights, Roe vs. Wade, Sex, Sexual Politics
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