June 27, 2005
The CountDown to BlogHer Con has begun
by Liza Sabater
Registration closes July 25 for BlogHer Conference '05 | BlogSheroes / BlogHer
And I will be there to serve the
Flame, Blame & Shame
What happens when women write for an audience of men and women who can write-and bite-back? Moderator Liza Sabater leads a panel including author/blogger Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, online security expert Ellen Spertus , Judith Meskill & Debi Jones
You're expert flamer and shamer extraordinaire, moi, will be moderating a panel on how to deal with the annoying trolls and assholes that think they can shut you up just because you're a girl. Or for that matter, expect you to be nice, play safe and be their cheeleaders, just because you're a girl.
Just a little background on this : There was a time when I used to sign as LM Sabater; and I did it because I did not want people to know I was a woman. Why?
Well, at the time, I was still finding out what my written voice sounded like. And I did notice that the times people did not know who I was, the exchanges were heated, pointed, righteous, diverting, funny and plain all great to have. The things would change when they'd find out I was ... gasp! female! There was another element to this, though : I was honestly scare.
I know, it's shocking to think anything will scare big, bad Liza, but trust me; it took this post for me to get over the fear of writing something that might offend people enough to want to flame me. Yupo. I was scared of being flamed and ... oh dear ... not liked, not cool enough, not ... SOB ... Lo-OVED.
Can you imaging me, scaredly little me, sulking in a corner because of something I wrote? Me, the foul-mouthed rant queen. Me, the one who will go to any and all lenghts to fugg her Danish pirate king in public and for all the world to see.
As they say, mierda happens. It's true. I always hyperventilate before hitting that "POST" button.
Which is why some of my posts here are kind of my way of nipple-slipping the world. My Viggo fuggings? Purposeful practice of getting over my natural prudishness and shyness about men and desire, exacerbated by my natural tendency to church-lady righteousness.
Blogging is my path to conquering weaknesses and demons. In the process, I let my inner amazon loose. And whoever doesn't like it, well, fuck'em, it's my blog, it's my party.
Flame.
Blame.
Shame.
Pick your poison and rant away : What stops you when you post, after you post and, especially, when the comments and vile starts streaming your way?
Posted by Liza Sabater in BlogHer
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» Flame, Blame and Shame: Meet your panel from blogher
What happens when women write for an audience of men and women who can write--and bite--back? Puh-lenty. In BlogHer's keynote lunch panel, Moderator Liza Sabater leads a session featuring author/blogger Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, editor extraordinaire Jud... [More...]
Found inJune 29, 2005 12:26 AM
Say it loud, say it proud!
Surprisingly, the flames make me angry, but they don't make me feel really ashamed (and since I just delete 'em and ban trolls, I don't get nearly as many as I'd expect to). I do get defensive, though, and that makes me want to post *more*, long justifications of my position. The one thing that does kind of hold me back from posting sometimes is the fact that both my partners read my blog, and some of what I'd like to write about is, well, them. Not so much them, of course, as my thoughts about the relationships--but of course, that's the kind of thing you don't want someone "overhearing." So that's my one hesitation, the personal.
2
Comment by: Toby at July 4, 2005 03:11 PM
Lisa - I assumed that from the title of my blog "Diva Marketing" and the writing which is sometimes a bit kitchy people would get that a woman was the author. Nope. It's not unusual for guys to assume that "Toby" is a dude. Must admit sometimes taking people off guard is not a bad thing and can level the playing field pretty quickly.
3
Comment by: anina.net at August 4, 2005 02:34 AM
hi lisa,
how are you? it was really nice to meet you. at your session in the conference i didnt in the end understand how to handle it if a troll shows up at your doorstep. could you give me some advice? i was just reading robert scobble's blog, the boy from microsoft, and the poor guy just get's flamed to DEATH. evil attacked. i wondered if you wouldnt stop by his blog and leave him a comment on how to respond to these evil trolls?
http://radio.weblogs.com/0001011/
he's really got an infestation of them bad.
and i would love to know too.
i remember you said you had wanted us to keep in touch...something about knowing people looking for fashion writers?
anyway. thanks for your lovely you. have a great day. running to a photoshoot now...
anina


1
Comment by: bitchphd at June 27, 2005 10:37 AM