Hormones

I just found out Owen Wilson is in the hospital after attempting suicide this past weekend. It's not only weird since he's the last person I would expect to do something like this, but because I spent the weekend thinking of suicide.

The pain that has encumbered my body in the past 3 weeks has left me with a new insight as to why people kill themselves "to stop the pain". Such a cliché, no? "Stop the pain". Yet, this past week the pain has been so brutal that I found myself breaking down and sobbing for hours the other day.

It's hard enough to deal with the fact that once I past 40, I am official "old". It is harder to contend with the possibility of spending my old age inside an achy, ill and broken down old body.

So I thought a lot about Kurt Cobain. Not that I would ever pull a Kurt Cobain. Yet I hear that Kurt suffered from Chron's disease. That disease is supposed to be so horrible and debilitating that it was not a shock to a lot people to know Kurt had pulled the trigger. And all weekend, I spent thinking that if Kurt's pain was worst than what I am experiencing now, then I can completely understand why he did it.