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Am I to believe my all-expenses paid mini-vacation in the Amsterdam is a horrible conspiracy to have the Prime Minister of Holland rub all over me and 23 of my new bestest friends so he can steal our collective sexy birthday mojo?

[via And the least popular party guest is... - Yahoo! News]:

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Branded a petty bourgeois by neighboring Belgium, Dutch Prime Minister Jan Peter Balkenende appears to be equally disliked by his own citizens who voted him the most unpopular birthday party guest.

Asked "which Dutch celebrity would you absolutely not want to see at your birthday party?," 12 percent -- the highest proportion of those polled said: Jan Peter Balkenende.

This makes sense. I mean, why would anybody care to invite a loser sellout like me anyhow? Why would organizations like Personal Democracy Forum, LINC Project, South by Southwest, Cable Television Public Affairs Association, NYC Grassroots Media Conference, New American Media, the Association of Asian American Journalists, The Media Center, BlogHer, NARAL, People for the American Way, New Democratic Majority, NYC Democracy for America or any other organizations, journalists and documentarians be interested in anything I have to say about anything I do?

Oh. Wait. I see. I am now on the same league as Jack Abramoff, Armstrong Williams and Doug Bandow? What kind of a moron would equate my going to Amsterdam to maybe smoke some hashish, check out the Anne Frank Museum (which I did not 20 years ago, when I first went to Amsterdam), interview health care officials in the Red Light district and maybe have a couple of beers with my favorite Cuban, Perez Hilton to, and I quote, "curry government favor" by "accepting pampering by people with an agenda".

What.

The.

Fuck.
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