BTW, did I tell you I was pregnant?

For months I have been trying to lose weight. No matter what I did --diet, Pilates, aerobics, yoga, high-colonics-- my belly wouldn't go down in size. Well, now I know why I have been craving olives

I had incredibly excrutiating pains last night. I thought it was the pasta with creamy porcini sauce I had eaten for dinner, but no, this pain was something else. We live right across the street from a hospital, so I asked the ball and chain to take me there.

Two hours later the creature was born. Yup. I spawned again --and weirdly enough, against my knowledge.

I'm fine now. Had I planned this birth, it wouldn't have gone so smoothly --and drug-free. I mean, I'm on my laptop while the baby sleeps. I can't believe it was that easy.

Here's a pic of April:


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About author

Liza Sabater is the founding blogger and publisher of culturekitchen and Daily Gotham. She also a new media producer and social technologist with 10 years experience. You can reach her at blogdiva [at] culturekitchen.com or follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/blogdiva

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rwallnerny2007's picture

What really happened

The doctor delivered April, healthy baby girl, and did examination of her. He discovered through super advanced genetic testing that the baby is a republican. "But you can love her anyway" the Doctor said. "Like hell I can!", Liza yells back, and takes a can of mace out of her purse and starts to spray. "Die republican scum!!!!!" The doctor tells Liza's husband that he thinks she is overreacting. Liza then turns and sprays the doctor with the mace, "how dare you deliver me a republican baby! die doctor scum!!!!" "Doctor" the husband says as the doctor is on the floor screaming in pain and getting kicked in the stomach and head by Liza, "you think this is overreacting? you don't know her do you?"

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"There has never been a just one, never an honorable one - on the part of the instigator of the war. I can see a million years ahead, and this rule will never change in so many as half a dozen instances. The loud little handful - as usual - will shout for the war. The pulpit will - warily and cautiously - object - at first; the great, big, dull bulk of the nation will rub its sleepy eyes and try to make out why there should be a war, and will say, earnestly and indignantly, "It is unjust and dishonorable, and here is no necessity for it."

Then the handful will shout louder.

A few fair men on the other side will argue and reason against the war with speech and pen, and at first will have a hearing and be applauded; but it will not last long; those others will outshout them, and presently the anti-war audiences will thin out and lose popularity. Before long you willsee this curious thing: the speakers stoned from the platform, and free speech strangled by hordes of furious men who in their secret hearts are still at one with those stoned speakers - as earlier - but do not dare to say so.

And now the whole nation - pulpit and all - will take up the war-cry, and shout itself hoarse, and mob any honest man who ventures to open his mouth; and presently such mouths will cease to open. Next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception."

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