I am the father
I, Liza Michelle Sabater-Tirado, am the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn.
It was a freak accident of telepathic autogenesis that made me the father of Anna's daugher. Seriously. Since the father of my children doesn't want more kids, I was using all my mental abilities to immaculately conceive the baby girl I want so much. Unfortunately my powers got transferred to Anna Nicole.
I remember the day so well, because I was standing at the check-out line flipping through the pages of The Enquirer while working on my willful conception. Out of nowhere pops the gorgeous bossom of Anna Nicole enrapturing me with it's charms in the most non-lesbian way possible ... not that there's anything wrong with that.
I kind of lost myself in Anna's double-ds and, well, my powers of semen-less gestation got transfered to her. I swear it's true. It was an accident but true.
So forget the sorry Larry Birkenhead.
Put away the murderous Howard K. Stern.
Banish Zsa Zsa Gabor's hustler, Prince Frederic von Anhalt.
Don't even think about the frozen sperm of J. Howard Marshall.
It's me, me, me and only me.
Now that I've claimed my paternity equity,it's time to get my Return On Investment : I want my $80 million in cold cash.
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Children as equity | Economics | Money | Parenting | Paternity | Pregnancy | Anna Nicole Smith
Tell the estate my bid is lower...
You see, Liza, I'm willing to be the father for a cool $40 million. And, of course, my story is MUCH more plausible. I went to an ex-gay camp, and while it did not stick, for about a week I was converted. As for the rest.... we can sort that out in court....