New York City hick gets lost in the new South of South Jersey

So I got totally lost trying to connect with Kim Pearson on my way down to Washington D.C. and it's made me wonder : What the hell was I thinking when I decided to drive down.

I usually take Amtrak into the capital but this time, I am shlepping so much crap that I decided to ZipCar it and haul my ass down I-95. I have to say, Amtrak is like a cultural bubble --it really destroys your connection with the reality of the United States that is not New York City.

I am in this thing called a Bob Evans' Restaurant. It's the kind of restaurant that serves single portions that are meant to feed a whole town and a half portion truly feeds a family for four. Biscuits is the starch du jour, not the freshly baked ciabatta that terrorizes Zone Dieters in the city.

Not that I am dismissing the fact that I am 20lbs overweight, but whereas I am an oddity in the city, I can count with one hand the amount of people that are on-weight in here.

OMFG! I just took a bite of my salad --a chicken and cranberry halfmongous portion. What the hell was I thinking! It has some kind of mystery dressing that has the viscosity of saliva.

Saliva Salad
Saliva Salad

The biscuit, made with what I am assuming is Bisquick tastes exactly like that. Of course, I am breaking my rule of eating wheat. Both my kids have a wheat allergy and I, after years of thinking that I wa clinically depressed, found out that I am actually quite sensitive to the devil's flour. But I love biscuits (and croissants and pierogis and pies and pizza and etc.) and, well, just had to try it out.

I still can't get over how this dressing looks awfully like saliva. Neither the fact that the roads are almost packed to the brim with cars and trucks. It reaffirms my hatred for anything looking like suburbia. If I had to depend everyday on driving to and forth to everywhere I would probably end up physically harming quite a few people.

Once in a while a car is OK. Everyday? Ugh! How can you call that a life if you have to depend on a car to see other people? How can you build a community like that? No wonder suburban and exurban teens are flocking to the internet to find other kids.

It sucks to be isolated in car country.


liza's picture

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NanceConfer's picture

Miracle Whip

It is a truly hideous condiment. Do not eat it! It will no doubt have some sort of horrible reaction with your Latina system.

Off to finish the lasagna for tonight's dinner. Evil

Nance


Mizzkyttie's picture

Stuck in a Car

I grew up pretty much in the middle of nowhere in southeastern New Hampshire. To do any grocery shopping, you had to drive between 8 and 15 minutes; the small businesses downtown were great if you needed convenience store stuff, hardware store stuff, or video rentals, but nothing more. Outside of my neighbors, none of my friends lived less than a ten minute drive away. Public transportation was virtually nonexistent; there's a bus service that goes from town to town, but the hours and service areas are extremely limited.

There was a tradeoff, though. Even though driving everywhere was a necessity, I had miles of woods to ramble through. I lived within a stone's throw of several lakes and rivers, 30 minutes away from the ocean, and 45 minutes away from the White Mountains and the Presidential Range. There were trees and cows and pastures and farms...for a kid with a huge imagination like mine, it was pretty much perfect. Well, 'cept for all the black flies and mosquitoes. Sure, as soon as I got to be a teenager, I headed for a life with less trees and more of a night life, but what I'm saying is, living in 'car country' isn't always a totally horrible thing.


NanceConfer's picture

Car country

is reality for a lot of us. Everything is a drive away here, at least 10-20 minutes, and there is virtually no mass transit. What there is is about to be cut because we are about to have our property taxes cut and the federal portion of the funding was already cut. Brilliant planning, folks.

Nance


Shady Lady's picture

class anyone?

though it's not surprising to see so-called liberal bloggers blithely ignore issues related to issues of class (and, no, not just consumption/lifestyle choices), i find this post about bob evans, despicable. for one, the title alone (the new south in south jersey) is clearly anti-southern, coupled with comments about obesity, bisquick, saliva dressing. despite all attempts to make a critique of suburbia and car culture, this reeks of good old fashioned class/anti-southern bias.


Margaret Bassett's picture

South Jersey? Bob Evans?

Neither seem something to go for. But then again, I remember when I lived in Manhattan, finding a friend with a car just to go walking on the Board Walk at Atlantic City was an adventure. I enjoyed Atlantic City even more when I reread "Elmer Gantry."
For all the biscuits and gravy that the South has, I have never been in Bob Evans. How did I avoid it all these years?
If maybe this conversation steers toward energy conservation, the inevitable question arises over "America's love affair with the automobile." Love them or not, cars are the only way most persons can get from point A to point B. It was built into the Interstate Highway system. I don't believe anyone knew how congested and mind-numbing that would become. But worst of all, think of the little towns allowed to atrophy for lack of a off ramp. And in the cities, the dead spots that made slums even more ghettoized. Yet, we all know that there is next to no chance of instituting a mass transit system in crowded areas.
Well, this is just a ramble. I really looked to see whether the steam pipe break at Grand Central made news at CK. Couldn't find a thing, but thinking of Grand Central made me pine for the oyster bar. Now there is a chance to think of food with a consistency which many people consider repulsive, lower on the food chain than salad dressing.


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