Special Sponsor Sunday Slutty Slurping

This is a hot, wet and bothered holla back to the people of Holland.com.

I have finally recuperated from the ignominous aching of my old and sagging body and, after seeing the evidence of my having a good time, I've taken out hits on David from Jossip, Danielle of Celebrity Baby blog and Ezra Klein.

There's too much evidence of my having fun ... too much fun.

I am going to have to make Ezra's hit particularly painful since I look so awfully fat in his pictures. DAMN YOU EZRA! Now I have to pull a Lohan and loose the extra poundage, all in the name of vanity!

I mean, who cares about health. Women in my family die at 90 and 100. I gotta loose the blubber just to satisfy my massively bruised ego.

Grock. If I only had the commitment and dedication to be a junky or an anorexic. But nOoOoOoOo, I've gotta do it the healthy way with exercising and salads and shakes and yoga and frigging positive yet mind-boggling slow karma like that. I can't just will weight away in two weeks with cigarrettes, drugs and fingers down my throat.

Sigh.

Let me stop because I feel another half a pound creeping up my butt.

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