Jesus

As the Patriot Acts: Episode 7




As the Patriot Acts: An Episodic Adventure in Americanism
Rabid Fiction by Tara Parks
Episode 7: Even Fighter Pilots Crash and Burn, or You Fall Down Go Bye-Bye

(In our last episode, Rumsfeld was fatally injured in a car wreck that involved Kissinger, Papa Bush, Laura, and Condoleezza. The fatality was not specified then, but after he lost his job, I decided that just like a night with the newly single Kevin Federline, it proved too good of an opportunity to pass up. K-Fed would make a formidable WMD, you know. Threats of more live performances could bring any country to their knees. From Webster Hall to the White House/ countries fear that rappin’ louse! But he will never appear in this series because he is too busy selling his recording equipment. Hopefully.

When we last left our fearless fuck-ups, George and Tony Blair were doubling on a bike from Camp David to the scene of the accident because George’s new lightning-inspired intelligence has also given him the ability to sense when his loved ones are in danger. Too bad this is just fiction. That could have helped him in this last election. Anywwwaaayyy... George’s eyes widen in horror as he peddles over the hill; Tony buries his head into his into his back, wrapping his arms tightly around George’s waist.)


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Mortification of the Flesh

Ted Haggard had a bad day yesterday. His self-loathing, his hatred of his body and its desires, desires he has stifled and twisted, caught up with him--publicly, and shamed, he resigned his position as President of the National Association of Evangelicals.

pollock-eyesheat


It's the kind of thing that schadenfreude is all about: watching, with glee, the suffering of one who has been hoisted by his own petard.

But, yesterday, I also had a bad day. I spent much of yesterday crying, sick to my stomach, unable to catch my breath, and contemplating the various implements within my own house that could be used to effect my own demise.

Jesus commanded that we should love all people as we love ourselves. But perhaps Ted Haggard and many, many of his compatriots do not love themselves; therefore, they cannot love others.

I get that kind of pain.


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