Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert declares Jeff Goldblum dead
The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c Jeff Goldblum Will Be Missed
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum
Last week a huckster from Australia declared Jeff Goldblum had died in New Zealand and media all around the world proceed to repeat the hoax. I actually saw on @Twitter that, contrary to the reports, the man was in New York City filming a tv show.
Well, Stephen Colbert milked it for all what it was worth. Watch how they play up the "if it was on @Twitter, it must be true" meme. And witness what true comedic talent is as Jeff, to wit, agrees.
Benicio Del Toro on The Colbert Report
My papi chulo was on the Colbert Report, which had last night one of the best jokes about bees and cocaine I've ever heard. Yes, bees and cocaine ... you had to be there.
PS : I not only want the t-shirt Beno got, I would have hoped for his production company to have a bit of tongue-in-CHEek and made Beno/Ché t-shirts. C'mon, respect tradition 
I tried to quit you Viggo, but you make it so hard
Viggo Mortensen has failed me and the world miserably. It's a Friday morning and the world is still not a better place all because of Viggo. It is Friday morning and I still don't have my legs wrapped around the lefty-commie-pino hunkiness that is Viggo Mortensen.
He is not only one of the first celebrities against the war, but he is the first one to call for the impeachment of George Bush. He has gone so far as to visit Iraq after publishing a book about the occupation. And when he came back, right before going back to filming, the man campaigned for an anti-war Democrat in New York state.
The problem is, he is still not betwixt my legs.
So I've tried to quit him.
Then he goes on the Colbert Report and does this :
I hate you Viggo Mortensen. How dare you make me laugh. I hate Stephen Colbert even more. How dare you enlist Stephen Colbert to turn me on with your sense of humor.
I swear, pull this off one more time and you'll be dead to me.
more this way»
The truthiness hurts
Fake reporters taking on fake reports by real reporters. Yes, just thinking about that can make your head hurt.
The truthiness hurts
... tonight it's my privilege to celebrate this president. We're not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say "I did look it up, and that's not true." That's 'cause you looked it up in a book.
Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, the Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, OK? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the "No Fact Zone."
Fox News ... I hold a copyright on that term.
